Success or Circumstance?

When we are taught never to give up as children, we are only hearing half of the story. What ever happened to learning from our failures? Noticing our mistakes and knowing what we did wrong? These are taught to us as well.

Our childhoods seem to be full of contradictory pieces of advice. Follow your dreams and you can do anything. True, to a point. As overplayed as it is, Obama did grow up from the slums to become president. But there have been many people who have grown up in the slums, and even more fortunate people, who have had the same if not more drive and dedication. Whether it is outside influences or just plain bad luck, some things are just unattainable. Don’t get me wrong, shoot for the stars and you will do well, but be aware that some things are just plain out of your control. Going through life working hard and expecting everything to work out just perfect is a terrible way to live.

I think what a lot of these posts are alluding to is the fact that although a lot of advice should be considered, it should not be considered completely. To set a goal and work towards it, even if seems unattainable, is a wonderful thing. But you must also be ready for the fact that you might not become the best in the world at whatever you strive to be. You could grow up wanting to be a surgeon, which is attainable given most situations. However, it is unlikely that you will become the best surgeon in the world.

One more thing to consider is your own attitude towards your equals. Be ready to accept that some people are just better at doing what you are trying to do. In the end you may very well be better than them, and one of the best things to do is to observe them without any ill feelings. It is too easy to fall in line with some of your coworkers and get upset that one guy is better than the others. Even in my limited experience, I have seen it too many times.

Let’s use the surgeon example. Of course the best surgeon will get the best and most interesting surgeries, where you might get stuck giving a ninety-year-old man a colonoscopy. Sure, one of the easiest things to do would be to become jealous of the better surgeon and become bitter. Some of the other surgeons will likely feel the same way. However, by controlling your attitude, you might be able to observe the entire situation from an entirely new angle. This introspection is an asset. You will be able to evaluate your feelings and hopefully disregard the inherent jealousy and observe the successful surgeon while your other peers will be preoccupied with the all-too-human feelings.

But I digress…

The point, if there is one to this rant, is that people should indeed shoot for the stars, but always be prepared for the rough times that can come along with it. You strive to be the best, and I hope you have the drive to do it. But take the presidency of the US as an example. There are probably better candidates for almost any high-ranking position in any corporation. Most of these people can lend their success at least in part to circumstances.

I don’t want to sound like a downer, but it might be necessary. You can be a happy and successful person without being the absolute best. In reality it is pretty unlikely that you will be the best at your career. That is not to say you shouldn’t give your all each and every day. You should always do your best, even if no one is watching. The point is that you should always be introspective and be able to accept the reality of any given situation.

The issue at hand is not giving up, but moving on. There will probably be more successful people than you. The thing that a lot of people never come to terms with is that they have to accept that. There are some things that you just cannot change. You must do your best to change the things you can, but be aware that there are some things that you cannot change. You have to do your best to accept these things, and move on.