Self-Awareness

There’s not much that pisses me off more than people who are not aware of the type of person they appear to be. There is nothing more confusing than meeting a person who comes off as a completely different person than they are trying to be. Listen, I appreciate the effort that you are putting into it, but you just aint cutting it.

We’ve all met people like this. Hell, we’re all guilty of it at one point or another. I imagine most people go through a phase, usually in their college years, where they are unsure of nearly everything. You don’t know what you want to do when you graduate, you don’t know which classes you are taking, you don’t know who you can talk to if something’s bothering you. Usually in the midst of these phases, one tries new things. One tries to assume different personas when they are not even sure of whom they truly are.

Everyone usually goes through a few changes in their views of themselves before falling into line in their own stereotypical path. Basically, those kids that were Goths in high school might have turned into preps, the preps might have turned into punks, etc. When you remove a person from their familiar environment, it is not surprising to see them completely change their self image, if only to be accepted by their peers.

There are a few of us who go through these phases, and never really decided on a role to choose. These people are usually the ones who never really decide on what they want to do; they usually follow a cookie cutter major in college, and take whatever job finds them. They are the kids whose parents own a business where they can graduate with any degree and be guaranteed a management job for the rest of their lives.

These are the same people that confuse and infuriate me. They play whatever role that gets them as far as they can be carried on the backs of others. I have seen whole groups of friends flock around one central figure and copy his style, and create an entire clique because of their mutual fascination of this one individual. They have effectively lost all individualism, just falling in line with whomever they want to be like.

Along with the social followers-on, there are the ones that flip back and forth between social types. These are the proverbial whores that don’t put out. The smart kids who have low GPA’s. They try so hard; so hard that they have convinced themselves to be a type of person they are not.

If you haven’t figured yourself out yet, you probably are disagreeing with what I have said. There are some things, that when they happen, you just know it. There is no set recipe for success, nor is their a recipe to determine what you want out of life. The best comparison I can think of is the process of making friends. You can direct the interest of people by generating interesting comments and conversations, but to try and define a set of rules to making friends is impossible. It is an extraordinary process that takes time. I dare you to define how exactly you became friends with someone. Few friendships have a common ground where both party members can say “this is the exact time and place we became friends.”

This is the way we discover ourselves. When I was a high school senior, all the talk and bullshit of the school was about deciding a career. It was a glorified version of show and tell all about what your parents want you to do. Many people go through life never even discovering what they want to do with themselves. I think a lot of people figure it out too late as well. I think this is the source of a lot of “mid life” crises. It is remarkably simple to go through life never feeling fully content. It is too easy to give up and be whoever it is easiest to be.

The first step in this process is self-awareness and self-image. If you view yourself as just another guy or girl, that is all you will become. If you recognize yourself for who you could become, and are willing to put in all the hard work, the sky is the limit.

This is where you cannot forget to be modest. You have every opportunity to become great; you know you can become great. That doesn’t mean everyone you meet is ready to hear you talk about it. Talk yourself up, but don’t do it too much. Just because you have the drive and dedication to become the greatest at whatever you plan to do, don’t give people the opportunity to bring you down. If you need reassurance from others to get you motivated, you aren’t trying hard enough.


“Happiness isn’t enough for me! I demand euphoria!”
-Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes

Confidence vs. Arrogance

I believe that confidence is key in nearly every aspect of life. But what is confidence? It’s not an unwavering belief in yourself. Basically it’s your own cockiness being held back by a realistic set of expectations that you adhere to. Maybe that was a little to get your head around, maybe not. I like to think that there’s a fine line between arrogance and confidence. Unfortunately, I don’t think many people can tell the difference. Arrogant people will come over, introduce themselves, and give you a firm handshake. Confident people will do the same.

Where the difference lies, I think, is not in the outward appearance of the person, but their inner view of themselves. A confident person tends to be aware of his own faults, and uses this knowledge to avoid those situations, or, when uncomfortable situations arise, they are ready for them. Confident people also treat themselves as “just another person.” They don’t play themselves down, however they evaluate themselves from the outside looking in, rather than for example, someone who is shy and thinks other people are judging him all the time. Confident people will be able to brush off embarrassment, as would arrogant people.

Arrogant people, however, do not evaluate themselves nearly as much. They tend to have overinflated egos, loud, and obnoxious habits. This could be viewed as confident, and in a way it is. The difference is, while confident people are aware of their faults, and can compensate for them, arrogant people react similarly, because they are too self-absorbed to notice these faults.

That’s why it pisses me off when arrogant people are more successful than other less-outgoing people. We all have those friends that give off the wrong vibe when you first meet them. Those are the friends that you have to introduce other people to first, and direct the conversation in a way that their personality shows through. I think we can all agree that once you get to know these almost anti-social friends, you learn that they are great people. And of course you eventually figure out who is confident and who is arrogant. This takes a little work and a fair amount of time.

I guess I’m just writing this so that you can try to realize who is an asshole, and who is sure of themselves. It’s easy to get these things confused if you want to go out and just have a good time. I don’t blame people for confusing them, but I do feel sorry for them. I guess most people try not to judge people. We are taught not to judge people from the time we are children, but that is another story for another day.

I guess this is also a warning. Have an ego, build your ego whenever you can, just make sure to be aware of yourself. Be awake to how people respond to you. Be aware of what people have to say about you. Most importantly, don’t let anything anyone says go to your head. Don’t blow any compliment out of proportion, but also, never forget to be able to brush off insults. People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, and remember that you don’t have to please everyone. If you go out fishing, you will always lose some, you will probably throw some back, and you might also never even get a nibble. But remember, when you go out fishing, the larger the net you cast, the more likely you are to catch something.