Call me selfish, egotistical and self-centered. My opinion is the only one that matters. Life is all about looking out for number one, yourself. One of the absolute worst things you can do with yourself is set out to be everybody’s friend. A friend of mine said the other day “if you aren’t pissing people off, you aren’t doing anything right.” Another honest joke. If you feel strongly about anything, and I hope you do, there will be opponents to your views.
Time to get back on track. If you go out trying to be everyone’s friends, you are destined to lose yourself. It is impossible to please everyone and remain an independent person. To find your own place in this world, you have to go out on a limb or two. To further out you go, the more you get noticed. The more you get noticed in social circles, as well as in the professional world.
I learned this lesson towards the end of high school. My senior year, I began reading Tucker Max’s stories. I was very narrow-minded and didn’t read his stories for much more than a quick laugh. After reading the now deceased message board associated with Max’s stories I learned much more than fart jokes and adult humor. His stories were about his uncut, brutal honesty with everyone he spoke to. He would call people how he saw them. Out of some miracle, he never got his ass beaten too hard. I hope to have the same luck, but that comes with the territory of open, brutal honesty. If you have something that you want to say, some opinion that you don’t know how it will be received, say it. To hold your tongue is to deny your own identity.
This by no means is saying to be a narcissist. Be compassionate, be caring, and be philanthropic. Or if that isn’t who you are, don’t be any of those things. The important concept to grasp is that you should strive to be independent. From the media to the predispositions of social group dynamics, there is pressure to conform to these ways. Remember that you are your own person, with your own views, and if you have something to say, let it fly.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Why you should go to college.
For those of us with the means to go to college, it should be a simple decision. However, it is a challenge for any 17 or 18-year-old high school student to make such a huge life decision. You are asking them to spend the equivalent of one fifth of their life so far in a higher institution. To have an adolescent dedicate the next four (or more) years of his life to something is difficult.
Even a 2-year community college or trade school is a leap of faith for these children. I say children, because even looking at myself two years ago, I see a young, inexperienced and naive kid. That kid wasn’t sure what to do with himself. That wasn’t his only issue though. He thought if he found the right thing to do after high school, be it a full time job, college, or a trade school, he would grow to have the “right” job for him. The “right” education would lead to the “right” job and he would be happy with his existence.
That has proven to be patently false. That version of me never found the elusive “perfect” school. There was no “perfect” route for my life to take. If you would have taken that kid and shown him who I would be in a scant two years, he never would have believed it. Who can expect a kid of 18 years to know what he wants to do and who he wants to be?
Luckily, I had the grades and the support of my parents who pushed me to go to college. I decided that because of my indecisiveness, the best thing to do would be to avoid the real world for a few years. With some generalized major, I’d be able to find a job that interested me and paid well enough to support me. Or at least I’d be able to take time and reassess myself. Hell, throw in grad school and I might have been able to avoid the real world for a couple more years.
The motivations and desires of a student between the ages of 18 and 20 are radically different. I went to college to escape. When I came here I came to realize a lot of things about the world at large.
First of all, the board game Life has it right. Without college, there are way to make it by, but it’s much easier if you go to school. You mature over the time spent at school still in a semi-controlled environment. It acts as a transition between high school and full time work. I challenge you to find a college graduate that thinks that one day of their college life was a complete waste.
Not that I said graduate. Dropouts gain from the college experience too. They realize that college is not right for them. Maybe they aren’t right for college. They might not have the drive, dedication and common sense. They might also not realize the opportunities provided to them.
Not all college students realize the opportunities presented to them either. College is primarily a learning environment. Coming in a close second is the unique social situation that college is. Four years of living in close proximity to your peers can teach you a lot about yourself. I’d say I have rediscovered my own identity, but that would insinuate that I knew who I really was before coming here.
It’s not that far fetched to say that a fair majority of college students have some sort of identity crisis or re-evaluation when they come to school. It’s not essential to go to college. I know a few people that were mature enough to enter the real world on their own. It’s a difficult process that can be done, but that’s not to say I don’t recommend the wonderful transition that takes place in today’s places of higher learning. A strange conglomeration of social and professional experiences, not to mention the unique things you will be exposed to on a college campus in this age of rampant socialization and irresponsibility.
Even a 2-year community college or trade school is a leap of faith for these children. I say children, because even looking at myself two years ago, I see a young, inexperienced and naive kid. That kid wasn’t sure what to do with himself. That wasn’t his only issue though. He thought if he found the right thing to do after high school, be it a full time job, college, or a trade school, he would grow to have the “right” job for him. The “right” education would lead to the “right” job and he would be happy with his existence.
That has proven to be patently false. That version of me never found the elusive “perfect” school. There was no “perfect” route for my life to take. If you would have taken that kid and shown him who I would be in a scant two years, he never would have believed it. Who can expect a kid of 18 years to know what he wants to do and who he wants to be?
Luckily, I had the grades and the support of my parents who pushed me to go to college. I decided that because of my indecisiveness, the best thing to do would be to avoid the real world for a few years. With some generalized major, I’d be able to find a job that interested me and paid well enough to support me. Or at least I’d be able to take time and reassess myself. Hell, throw in grad school and I might have been able to avoid the real world for a couple more years.
The motivations and desires of a student between the ages of 18 and 20 are radically different. I went to college to escape. When I came here I came to realize a lot of things about the world at large.
First of all, the board game Life has it right. Without college, there are way to make it by, but it’s much easier if you go to school. You mature over the time spent at school still in a semi-controlled environment. It acts as a transition between high school and full time work. I challenge you to find a college graduate that thinks that one day of their college life was a complete waste.
Not that I said graduate. Dropouts gain from the college experience too. They realize that college is not right for them. Maybe they aren’t right for college. They might not have the drive, dedication and common sense. They might also not realize the opportunities provided to them.
Not all college students realize the opportunities presented to them either. College is primarily a learning environment. Coming in a close second is the unique social situation that college is. Four years of living in close proximity to your peers can teach you a lot about yourself. I’d say I have rediscovered my own identity, but that would insinuate that I knew who I really was before coming here.
It’s not that far fetched to say that a fair majority of college students have some sort of identity crisis or re-evaluation when they come to school. It’s not essential to go to college. I know a few people that were mature enough to enter the real world on their own. It’s a difficult process that can be done, but that’s not to say I don’t recommend the wonderful transition that takes place in today’s places of higher learning. A strange conglomeration of social and professional experiences, not to mention the unique things you will be exposed to on a college campus in this age of rampant socialization and irresponsibility.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Success or Circumstance?
When we are taught never to give up as children, we are only hearing half of the story. What ever happened to learning from our failures? Noticing our mistakes and knowing what we did wrong? These are taught to us as well.
Our childhoods seem to be full of contradictory pieces of advice. Follow your dreams and you can do anything. True, to a point. As overplayed as it is, Obama did grow up from the slums to become president. But there have been many people who have grown up in the slums, and even more fortunate people, who have had the same if not more drive and dedication. Whether it is outside influences or just plain bad luck, some things are just unattainable. Don’t get me wrong, shoot for the stars and you will do well, but be aware that some things are just plain out of your control. Going through life working hard and expecting everything to work out just perfect is a terrible way to live.
I think what a lot of these posts are alluding to is the fact that although a lot of advice should be considered, it should not be considered completely. To set a goal and work towards it, even if seems unattainable, is a wonderful thing. But you must also be ready for the fact that you might not become the best in the world at whatever you strive to be. You could grow up wanting to be a surgeon, which is attainable given most situations. However, it is unlikely that you will become the best surgeon in the world.
One more thing to consider is your own attitude towards your equals. Be ready to accept that some people are just better at doing what you are trying to do. In the end you may very well be better than them, and one of the best things to do is to observe them without any ill feelings. It is too easy to fall in line with some of your coworkers and get upset that one guy is better than the others. Even in my limited experience, I have seen it too many times.
Let’s use the surgeon example. Of course the best surgeon will get the best and most interesting surgeries, where you might get stuck giving a ninety-year-old man a colonoscopy. Sure, one of the easiest things to do would be to become jealous of the better surgeon and become bitter. Some of the other surgeons will likely feel the same way. However, by controlling your attitude, you might be able to observe the entire situation from an entirely new angle. This introspection is an asset. You will be able to evaluate your feelings and hopefully disregard the inherent jealousy and observe the successful surgeon while your other peers will be preoccupied with the all-too-human feelings.
But I digress…
The point, if there is one to this rant, is that people should indeed shoot for the stars, but always be prepared for the rough times that can come along with it. You strive to be the best, and I hope you have the drive to do it. But take the presidency of the US as an example. There are probably better candidates for almost any high-ranking position in any corporation. Most of these people can lend their success at least in part to circumstances.
I don’t want to sound like a downer, but it might be necessary. You can be a happy and successful person without being the absolute best. In reality it is pretty unlikely that you will be the best at your career. That is not to say you shouldn’t give your all each and every day. You should always do your best, even if no one is watching. The point is that you should always be introspective and be able to accept the reality of any given situation.
The issue at hand is not giving up, but moving on. There will probably be more successful people than you. The thing that a lot of people never come to terms with is that they have to accept that. There are some things that you just cannot change. You must do your best to change the things you can, but be aware that there are some things that you cannot change. You have to do your best to accept these things, and move on.
Our childhoods seem to be full of contradictory pieces of advice. Follow your dreams and you can do anything. True, to a point. As overplayed as it is, Obama did grow up from the slums to become president. But there have been many people who have grown up in the slums, and even more fortunate people, who have had the same if not more drive and dedication. Whether it is outside influences or just plain bad luck, some things are just unattainable. Don’t get me wrong, shoot for the stars and you will do well, but be aware that some things are just plain out of your control. Going through life working hard and expecting everything to work out just perfect is a terrible way to live.
I think what a lot of these posts are alluding to is the fact that although a lot of advice should be considered, it should not be considered completely. To set a goal and work towards it, even if seems unattainable, is a wonderful thing. But you must also be ready for the fact that you might not become the best in the world at whatever you strive to be. You could grow up wanting to be a surgeon, which is attainable given most situations. However, it is unlikely that you will become the best surgeon in the world.
One more thing to consider is your own attitude towards your equals. Be ready to accept that some people are just better at doing what you are trying to do. In the end you may very well be better than them, and one of the best things to do is to observe them without any ill feelings. It is too easy to fall in line with some of your coworkers and get upset that one guy is better than the others. Even in my limited experience, I have seen it too many times.
Let’s use the surgeon example. Of course the best surgeon will get the best and most interesting surgeries, where you might get stuck giving a ninety-year-old man a colonoscopy. Sure, one of the easiest things to do would be to become jealous of the better surgeon and become bitter. Some of the other surgeons will likely feel the same way. However, by controlling your attitude, you might be able to observe the entire situation from an entirely new angle. This introspection is an asset. You will be able to evaluate your feelings and hopefully disregard the inherent jealousy and observe the successful surgeon while your other peers will be preoccupied with the all-too-human feelings.
But I digress…
The point, if there is one to this rant, is that people should indeed shoot for the stars, but always be prepared for the rough times that can come along with it. You strive to be the best, and I hope you have the drive to do it. But take the presidency of the US as an example. There are probably better candidates for almost any high-ranking position in any corporation. Most of these people can lend their success at least in part to circumstances.
I don’t want to sound like a downer, but it might be necessary. You can be a happy and successful person without being the absolute best. In reality it is pretty unlikely that you will be the best at your career. That is not to say you shouldn’t give your all each and every day. You should always do your best, even if no one is watching. The point is that you should always be introspective and be able to accept the reality of any given situation.
The issue at hand is not giving up, but moving on. There will probably be more successful people than you. The thing that a lot of people never come to terms with is that they have to accept that. There are some things that you just cannot change. You must do your best to change the things you can, but be aware that there are some things that you cannot change. You have to do your best to accept these things, and move on.
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